First One to Run
by Fettkat
Summary: It's been done before in this beautiful little fic called Home by JediTrace. Well, here's my spin on it. Missing moment from The Unifying Force: When the Jedi younglings are brought back to Zonama Sekot from the Maw. Starring Ben Skywalker/ Tionne Solusar.


_A little child can be cruel in ways he may never understand._

It was the day he hadn't known that he had been waiting for. It was the day when all of Shelter had been thrown into chaos. Little Ben Skywalker was kept bouncing in Jedi Master Tionne Solusar's arms as she ran here and there, supervising a complete pack-up of the facility that had served them as home for the last one and a half years, occasionally having to shove him into the hands of a young Jedi apprentice or her equally flustered husband as she tried to introduce some sort of order into the packing exercise. But the truth of the matter was that there was just too much of a feeling of celebration in the air to be able to control, and among the young Jedi all around her, the Force was alive with a sense of euphoria. Tionne had to admit, it was past time they had a bit of good news to cheer about. The last few years had been rough on all of them. They had all lost family, friends and comrades to the terrible Yuuzhan Vong. But finally, after five long war-weary years, it was over. The call had come from Jedi Master Luke Skywalker on Zonama Sekot that the younglings were to be brought back to the Jedi and the Star Destroyer_ Errant Venture_ was being sent to provide safe passage for them through the Maw.

Ben sat regally on top of a packing crate regarding the frantic bustle around him with his thumb in his mouth as though it were being done for his sole pleasure. Many a half-bitten oath or foul swear-word floated into his range of hearing and his two-year old face would light up, infected with the excitement and energy infusing the abandoned base today. He watched as the adults and younglings, beings and droids tripped each other up in their rush to load everything into large packing cartons and slowly a mountain of assorted pieces of luggage and cargo began to build up as Shelter base was stripped down and prepared for evacuation. Waves of barely contained joy, excitement and enthusiasm flooded the Force and Ben, an exceptionally Force-sensitive child, felt his infant mind buffeted by them. He didn't understand what they were for, of course. Doubtless he would be told in good time. Tionne would take him with her wherever she went, and as long as Tionne or even Master Kam was with him, he felt safe.

And that was when it came, slithering into his consciousness, reaching into him and twisting fiercely around his mind as though it wanted to anchor him here and never let him go. Claiming him as its very own._ Mine mine mine!_Ben gave a soft squeal and instantly shut himself down in the Force, a habit he knew Tionne found distressing whenever she sensed him do it, but one he had increasingly found was necessary, even though he couldn't explain to her why. She would never believe him if he told her about the "tentacle".

He had felt it as soon as he had arrived in Shelter, after that first harrowing trip without his mom. It had come in the night when he'd finally lain down to sleep, alone and afraid, even though he had known he was surrounded by friends. He had opened his mind instinctively to the Force, to receive feelings of reassurance and love from his parents, now so far away from him, and it had slipped in through the gap in his defences, a cold, slithering tentacle, wanting to wrap itself around him and give him all the comfort he would ever need. But there had been the unmistakable stamp of the dark about it and little Ben had snapped his connection to the Force in terror. But the tentacle had been undeterred. It had assaulted him time and time again, preying upon his feelings of loneliness and confusion. It promised to never let him go like his mommy and daddy had, to be his friend and protector for ever and ever. But it felt so cold and a voice on some deeper level than it told him that it was _wrong_. So Ben had devised a way to stop it from entering and corrupting him by blocking out the Force altogether. This wasn't such a great loss. The Force roiled with feelings of pain, fear and anger these days. It frightened him and he was glad for an excuse to push it away.

Little Ben, with all the patience of a two-year old toddler, jumped down from the crate. He wanted to get away from a place where the tentacle could find him. But before he could go hunting for Tionne Solusar, Ben was smacked straight in the face by a giant Ramoan tail and sent sprawling across the floor.

Bazel Warv stopped dead in his tracks, hearing the instant wail of a human child and ran back a couple of paces with his heart in his mouth. He had been running back and forth with boxes of the heavier items, being one of the few who could actually ferry them with ease. He had felt the impact against his tail and hoped he hadn't accidentally trampled down a youngling. Fortunately, he was spared his guilt when he saw his friend Valin Horn's younger sister, Jysella Horn cradling a whimpering little boy and soothing him softly. She looked at him with an expression of mixed humour and annoyance.  
"Do look out for the little ones, Barv. You nearly steam-rollered our little Ben here. Master Skywalker might have thrown you out of the Order for flattening his son and where would you have been then?"  
Barv grunted and stooped to look at the kid. He sniffed even louder and hid his face in Jysella's tunic as the young Ramoan held out a finger to try and pacify him by awkwardly tickling his chin, a technique he had seen work with other little human infants.  
Jysella was crooning comfortingly to the little boy.  
"Hey, Ben! It's ok, it was just an accident. Don't cry. We're going home today! Did you know that? You'll get to see your mommy and daddy again. Wouldn't you like that?"  
Ben's crying stopped abruptly at the words "mommy and daddy" and his liquid blue eyes snapped up to Jysella's green ones. The young girl smiled.  
"You miss your mommy and daddy, don't you? Don't you want to go to them? You be a good little boy and you'll get to meet them soon!"  
Ben looked from Jysella to Barv, not daring to believe his ears.  
"M-mommy?" he whispered.

At that moment, Master Tionne Solusar strode up to them, her hair wild, her face anxious.  
"Oh there you are, Ben! Goodness, child, I've been looking all over for you! Where in the world you run off to sometimes...you really give me a scare."  
"Master Solusar, I was just telling Ben he'll get to meet his mommy and daddy soon."  
Tionne smiled at the small group, relieving Jysella of her burden. Ben sought out her twinkling eyes and continued to gaze into them inquisitively.  
"Oh yes. Mara and Luke must be dying to meet you again. Mommy and daddy's war is over, Ben. We're all going to meet them again."

No other word stuck in Ben's attention other than "mommy". It had been so long since he had even received a visit from her, all he had to remember her by were the holos, and even those had been scarce in the last few months. He harboured a secret terror that maybe his parents had abandoned him and didn't want him back. That he'd done something so evil that he'd never get to see his mommy again.  
Which is why he repeated her name, urgently, trying to get Tionne to explain to him why it had suddenly come up in the conversation.  
Tionne shook her head resignedly.  
"We're taking you back to mommy, Ben. You're going to see her again."  
Hope flickered in Ben's eyes at last and his presence seemed to brighten in the Force. A slow smile spread across his lips and he stuffed his hand in his mouth, emitting a babyish giggle of glee.

No one could get much sleep in the restless wait for the _Errant Venture_ to arrive for them, but there were some who needed it more than others. Tionne looked up as Kam approached, letting out a soft sigh as he plopped into a chair beside her. The poor man really did look exhausted and Tionne reached over to squeeze his knee affectionately. Kam returned her smile.  
"Is he asleep?"  
Jedi Master Kam Solusar had faced many adversities in his life. But one of the most trying, even he would admit, was getting Ben Skywalker to fall asleep.  
"Finally, yes. One of these days I'm going to have to shoot him with a tranquilizer dart just to get him to keep still for a moment! I swear by the Force, Tionne, he saves all his energy for bedtime!"  
Tionne smiled at him indulgently.  
"I know you'll still miss it when he's gone."  
Kam's voice was gruff.  
"Yeah, well, good luck to Luke. He truly doesn't know what he's in for with his own kid."

Tionne felt a spark of protectiveness at her husband's words. Mara and Luke had been out of touch with their own child for quite a long time. They had had him when he'd been a newborn, but now would they be able to assume the sudden responsibilities of caring for a two-year old toddler? She herself knew the challenges by now, but would Ben himself be able to adjust to such a drastic change in his environment? She forced herself to put aside such thoughts. Of course they would be able to adjust! They were a family! Mara and Luke would be more than capable parents. They were redoubtable Jedi Masters and they loved their son with all their hearts.  
Just like she did.

Tionne had not had time to admit it to herself since the missive from Zonama Sekot had arrived with the orders to pull back, but this time with her husband and the younglings of the Jedi Order had been one of the most fulfilling in her life. She loved children and even though she knew Kam had initially chafed at being away from the action taking place in the war, they had quickly come to realize the importance of the role they had assumed as guardians of the next generation. Never again should something like the Jedi Purge ever be allowed to happen. She knew Kam never spoke about it, but they had always wanted children of their own. Yet they had borne it well when it hadn't happened for them. And then this assignment had come their way and they had been entrusted with the care of Ben Skywalker, a child whose safety his own family had been unable to guarantee in the throes of a terrifying war. She remembered that day on Borleias, the day they'd left for the Maw. It had been Luke who had handed over his son to her. Mara had said her goodbyes in private, unable to face the prospect of sending her baby so far away, to a place dangerous in its own right, and in the company of trusted friends, but not family.

Ben himself had been a trial in those initial days, difficult to control, frightened and irritable. But eventually, through many sleepless and exhausting nights, Tionne had been able to win his trust and slowly, the little child had adjusted to life at the temporary base, away from his parents. Naturally, this had meant that she and Kam had assumed the parental roles in his infant life. Although he now got along with almost all the young Jedi initiates, he would still come running to her if he got hurt or felt frightened, it would still have to be Kam who would have to wrestle him into going to bed, and he wouldn't eat his meals without atleast one of them within eyeshot. Mara had been able to visit maybe twice, that too very briefly, in all the time they had spent in the Maw and she remembered having had to comfort the little boy for the rest of the day after she'd left. She'd done her duty, never letting him forget his parents' faces, ritually sending encrypted holos back to them so they wouldn't feel quite so detached from their son... Tionne realized she had developed a dangerous attachment to a child not her own. She had always known the day would come when she would have to hand him back to his real parents, she just hadn't realized how hard it would turn out to be when that time actually came.

There had been singing and laughing all the way back to Zonama on the reconfigured Star Destroyer. Its captain, Booster Terrik, in the company of his grandchildren, had only smiled, not even lifting a finger to dampen the joy of the occasion. After five years of constant war, it was a welcome change.

Tionne stood at the foot of the boarding ramp of the cargo shuttle, herding in the younglings while Kam ran its pre-flight, preparatory to take-off. The _Errant Venture_had entered orbit around the sentient planet barely an hour ago and they were all raring to be re-united with long-lost family and friends. Anticipation ran high in the Force and Tionne could feel the swirl of jumbled emotions, of mixed exhilaration with sorrow for those who had fallen. Little Ben Skywalker bounced in her arms, his little head swivelling this way and that, watching as the chattering horde of young Jedi trooped aboard the ship. He too reflected the enthusiasm, often bursting into squeals of childish laughter for no apparent reason. Finally, once all the younglings going planet-side were aboard, Tionne and Ben walked up the ramp, waving a temporary farewell to Booster Terrik and thanking him for his services. He, too, would be joining them shortly.

Little Ben looked around his new surroundings curiously, contemplatively sucking on his fist. It was a rather confined space in which he knew he would soon get restless, but for the moment, while it was still novel, he was content to give Tionne a breather and settle down quietly in her arms. As the shuttle lifted off and Master Kam flew it out of the Star Destroyer's docking bay, Ben's blue eyes grew round as a dense starfield appeared outside the viewports. He gazed at it in awe, his hand falling from his mouth and absently wiping it against his pants. Tionne beamed at his look of wonder and kissed him lovingly on his forehead, brushing aside an errant strand of soft red-gold hair. He looked up at her, the amazement still filling his face. Tionne whispered softly.  
"That's the whole universe out there, sweetheart. Someday you're going to be a Jedi and maybe you'll get to travel to all those stars you see."  
_A Jedi._  
The words sounded awe-inspiring to Ben. But first he wanted to see his mommy.

The child fussed fretfully in her arms as Kam brought the shuttle down for a landing on Zonama's lush green expanse. Already the younglings were crowding by the exit hatch, their faces shining, their voices growing louder as their excitement increased. Tionne felt her own heart beating faster as she sternly ordered the apprentices to maintain order and not push each other on their way out. Ben whimpered anxiously as the hatch lowered and the first of the apprentices rushed down the ramp, whooping and yelling. They could see the gathered crowd of the Jedi on the landing field, waiting just as eagerly for their charges' return. Tionne looked behind to her husband for help as he came up, Ben having become almost unrestrainable, crying to be let down. He smiled gently at her, lifting the infant out of her arms and carrying him towards the open hatch. He scanned the crowd for Luke and Mara, and soon spotted them, waiting at the fringes, their gazes directed intently at the shuttle. Tionne moved up beside them, a lump growing steadily in her throat. This was it. The moment of good-bye. Ben would be running to someone else in the night now, when he would wake, frightened by his imaginary "Keepy" monster. She rebuked herself for the thought. The one he would be running to now would be his own mother!

Little Ben's curious gaze followed Master Kam's finger as he pointed to where his parents were standing. It took him a while to adjust to the bright sunlight outside, but he saw them at last and a strangled cry of pure joy and elation burst from his throat as recognition dawned from all the holos he had seen of the two of them. He would be restrained no longer. He had seen his mommy, walking hesitantly towards them. No longer. With a sudden wrench of his little shoulder, Ben freed himself from Kam's grasp and hurtled down the ramp. His toddler legs were still unsteady, but nothing so trivial was going to hold him back any more. His little heart was pounding in his chest as he flew, helter skelter towards the woman with hair so like his own.  
_Mommy_! She_ hadn't_ forgotten him! She had been waiting for him, just like she'd promised!  
And there she was, her arms stretched out longingly towards him, her green eyes sparkling with so much love and warmth. He barged into her, hugging her as tightly as he could, whispering her name to the real person, while sudden tears of release bathed his cheeks.  
"Oh my baby, my Ben! Mommy's missed you so so so much! My sweet _angel_!"  
And he heard her voice, which for so long, he'd heard only in dreams and in heavily encrypted recorded messages, and though he could hear the tears in it too, it was bliss.

He could have lain in that moment forever, his heart full with all the happiness and contentment he could have ever wished for, breathing in the scent, the presence of his mother. But she turned around and put him down on the ground again, pointing him towards the other face from the holos, the face he hadn't seen in reality in almost one and a half years.  
_Daddy._  
Ben didn't run to him, he approached him almost shyly. But the man laughed and swept him off the ground and into his strong arms. Ben could feel his emotion even without the help of the Force, washing over him like a wave of love and joy.  
"Hey, son!"  
He smiled broadly then, pressing his cheek to his father's.  
"Daddy," he whispered, rolling the unfamiliar word around on his infant tongue.  
Luke Skywalker's eyes sparkled with much more than happiness or pride.  
"Welcome back home, my Ben."

Tionne Solusar watched the family's heartwarming reunion with an aching heart. She knew she should feel happy for them. They had been re-united with their infant son after far too long. But... he hadn't waited to even say goodbye. He hadn't even looked back! Tionne knew she shouldn't feel hurt. He was only two! Such formalities held no meaning for him. He only acted out what was in his heart. But then again, sometimes brutal honesty can cut as deep as lightsabers. He'd wanted to go to his mommy, not to say goodbye to her. Try though she might she couldn't stop that one irrational tear from rolling down her cheek. She felt Kam come to stand behind her and wrap a supportive arm around her shoulder. He could understand. He had felt it too.  
Ben Skywalker was finally home.

**THE END**


End file.
